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Stupid, Fat Hobbit...

by Geoff Snider
Decipher Playtester

"What have I got in my pocket?" asked Bilbo, not sure how the filthy creature would respond to his lazily constructed riddle.

"What has it got in its pocketses?" echoed Gollum. "It isn't a fair question! It must give us three guesseses; three, precious, yes." Gollum grumbled to himself like a child who'd received socks for Christmas. It wasn't fair that the nasty Baggins could make such a bad riddle and expect him to answer. "We must think, precious, we must" he said, stalling.

"Very well then, three guesses it is," conceded Bilbo.
"Handses"
"Wrong!"
"Knife"
"Wrong again; you get one more!" Bilbo was beginning to think that this might turn out for the best, judging by the disappointed hissing Gollum was making...and then again it might not.

"String... hmm... nothing"

"Both wrong!" Bilbo yipped triumphantly. He had won the contest of riddles, but for some odd reason, he saw no adverse reaction in Gollum. The creature agreed to show him the way out of this dark place.

"Precious, we must get something first... something to help us" he said, paddling off to his little island in the underground lake. Bilbo decided that, by the look of treachery in Gollum's eyes, he should make off by himself...and be quick about it. He heard Gollum's wailing far back down the tunnel as he ran blindly up it.

"It's lost! LOST!" the creature howled, "What has it got in its pocketses!" it exclaimed. "We guesses... we guesses... my birthday present! Curse the Baggins!" Gollum set off to catch the hobbit.

And that is how it began; riddles in the dark, below the Misty Mountains. Bilbo escaped with his new treasured ring, eventually making his way through many adventures and back to the Shire; but Gollum... he grew even more wretched and filled with malice for 'Bagginses' as he called them, muttering to himself again and again.

As Gollum stumbles across Frodo and Sam camping in the Emyn Muil, we catch up with the three of them...

Pivotal as he was in Tolkien's stories, Gollum remains such as a card in Battle of Helm's Deep. Gollum, Stinker is just that: a stinker. He's a problem that Frodo and Sam must find a way to solve before his unpredictable ways get out of control. In fact, Gollum's so terribly unpredictable that he himself doesn't know his next move. He'll fit well in any kind of corruption deck, gradually becoming more and more effective as a game progresses. Easterling and Twilight Nazgûl decks will flourish in the 'post-Battle of Helm's Deep' playing environment; they gain a minion whose sole purpose is to add burdens and capitalize on those burdens.

As Gollum struggles with himself, his good side occasionally rises to the surface. Sometimes it seems that he still has a conscience, he still has a will, and he still has a spark of good in him... until he's tempted by the ring's power. Sméagol, Slinker is the perfect assistant for the hobbits as they attempt to cross the Dead Marshes and find a way into Mordor. He'll protect them in times of danger, help them find their way, and even provide them with a bit of sustenance for the duration of their trip. Sméagol is probably one of the most pivotal cards of the 'Helm's Deep' expansion, mainly for his '0' twilight cost. He can begin the game with Frodo, in addition to the normal complement of companions. For just a couple burdens he'll save the ring-bearer from skirmishing some deadly foes. Be careful, however, since Sméagol's price for help is high. He wants his precious!

Sam, suspicious as ever, doesn't like Sméagol. He knows that just under the surface of the seemingly helpless whelp is Gollum. Sam won't stand for Gollum's antics, and at the first sign of mischief from the creature he'll tie him up, knock him down... or maybe worse. Sam, Nice Sensible Hobbit doesn't take well to Sméagol, and so he's even more willing to protect Frodo until their journey's end. Give Sam a Hobbit Sword, a couple copies of A Promise, some Rare Good Ballast to give him some extra meat on his bones, and he'll weather any storm of minions an opponent may throw at him.

February 5, 2003