THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE GUILTY

June 19, 1881
My Dearest Friends,
In my tireless attempts to rid the town of Roadkill of the villainous scum that is corrupting our citizens, I take pride in announcing the capture of the Malevolent Seven-a dastardly conspiracy of criminals that has secretly victimized our fair territory for far too many years. To celebrate this landmark moment in law enforcement, I have erected eight gallows on Main Street: seven for the execution of this thieving, murderous band, and one for good luck. The execution will take place at midnight on the second of July, to "kick off" festivities for the Fourth of July weekend. As a crowd is expected, I've reserved prime seating for you, my most honored guests and dear friends. You shall be served a sumptuous meal in my home prior to our thrilling main event, which will begin with the hanging of the mysterious masked horseman who masterminded the Seven's unsavory crimes. So, leave your affairs in order, and come join me in this triumphant celebration. The honor of your presence is required.

Sincerely,
Waylon Payne

CHARACTERS
Butch Chastity, P'elvis Swagarin, Helena Handcart, Chief Breaking Wind, Elvira-Lynn Fekshin, Wyatt Hertz, Dee Adela Muerte, and Elias Truist-Heath.


BUTCH CHASTITY
Legendary Butch Chastity is the first lady of outlaws. Her all-woman gang are the Amazons of the American West. There's nothing coy or dainty about Butch. She can drink her fellow outlaws under the table; she can hold her own in a game of poker; she can rob a stagecoach in record time; and she can kill a man just as soon as look at him-and often does. In her secret hide-out, a place called the Hole in the Mud, Butch plans the most daring of heists, including her many famed train robberies. It has been rumored that Butch has gotten away with more gold than any outlaw alive.
Costume Suggestion: Dungarees or jeans, boots, suspenders, gun belt, pistol, holster, bandanna and cowboy hat.

P'ELVIS SWAGARIN
When a mysterious lone gunslinger rides into some dusty western town, it's usually P'elvis Swagarin. Solemn, poker-faced, bowlegged-he's a cowboy's cowboy. Born Peter Elvis Swagarin, he's P'elvis to those who know him. He's a man with no belongings but the shirt on his back, his gun and his saddle....a man who sleeps beneath the icy stars, a horse his only companion. P'elvis appeared out of the prairie heat just two days ago, and ever since he arrived, the whole town of Roadkill has been whispering in hushed tones, wondering who he is and what he wants...
Costume Suggestion: Dungarees or jeans, chaps, boots and spurs, suspenders, gun belt, pistol, holster, bandanna and cowboy hat.

HELENA HANDCART
Matriarch of the Handcart clan, Helena is the mother of the Handcart boys: all thirteen of them. Billy-Bob, Bobby-Rae, Little Ricky, Martin and Lewis, Harpo, Groucho, Sleepy, Sneezy, Manny, Moe and Jack. Oh-and, of course, the Beav. Unfortunately, she had to bury all thirteen of her sons after they were tragically killed in a shoot-out at a dairy farm. The now infamous gunfight at the Parkkay Corral left her with nothing but memories. A strong woman, she has been able to survive, although most of the time she remains secluded on the sprawling Handcart Ranch, managing the family cattle business. Helena owns half the territory and never lets anyone forget it.
Costume Suggestion: Long black skirt with matching blouse, brooch, gloves, bonnet.

CHIEF BREAKING WIND
Chief Breaking Wind is the distinguished leader of the Cowpai tribe-an honorary position these days, since the entire Cowpai tribe fell victim to a mysterious disease several years ago and perished. Still, the stoic chief keeps his traditions alive, trusting that, with his help, the Cowpai will rise again. Unwillingly relieved of his tribal responsibilities, the chief has since opened a successful barber shop in town and, ignorant historical references notwithstanding, hasnÕt scalped a soul. Still, no one ever angers the chief.
Costume Suggestion: War paint and a breechclout for the truly adventurous; loose-fitting trousers, tunic with embroidered or painted symbols, native-design blanket, moccasins or soft, slouchy boots, black braids, feather headdress.

ELVIRA-LYNN FEKSHIN
Elvira-Lynn is the consummate soiled dove and makes no bones about it, so to speak. She's known throughout the territory, and there's even that famous saloon song written about her- My Heart Burns for You, and Other Places, Too. She's the proud madam of the Pigeon Ranch, the best little you-know-what in Roadkill. Since Judge Waylon Payne is one of her steadiest clients, the law does a good job of looking the other way. To look at her now, you'd never guess she was born in the gutter and suffered a sickly childhood, battling everything from consumption to bubonic plague. But now she spreads, among other things, sunshine wherever she goes.
Costume Suggestion: Low-cut blouse, corset, garters and patterned hose, be-ribboned bloomers, fancy hat with feather plumes, cigarette holder.

WYATT HERTZ
Wyatt Hertz is by far the most famous lawman in the West. He kept the wild frontier town of Roadkill under tight control, keeping the locals in line with an iron fist of fear. That is, until a shotgun blast caught him in the tender parts. Legend has it that Wyatt was ambushed by the vicious Partridge Family gang, and he didn't stand a chance. That was a year ago. Since then, he's retired, letting Judge Waylon Payne reign as both sheriff and justice of the peace. Now Wyatt runs a lucrative rent-a-horse business. He never lost a gunfight, and some folks believe he could take out a whole gunslingin' gang with a single round from his six-shooter.
Costume Suggestion: Dungarees or trousers, full-cut white shirt with black scarf or bolo, brocade vest.

DEE ADELA MUERTE
She is known as just Adela to her friends. Adela is a Mexican beauty with the most pious of spirits but is plagued by bad luck. She's been thrice-widowed-each time as a newlywed. Her first husband, a local politician, died shamefully during one of his secret outings to the Pigeon Ranch. Her second husband, the town pastor, died while preaching, and her third husband, the town undertaker, keeled over from exhaustion while planting the thirteen Handcart boys. Now poor Adela is left to deliver Sunday sermons and forced to become town undertaker. Still, she knows that she will rise above her misfortune. Until then, she'll continue to wear her black mourning veil.
Costume Suggestion: Black blouse and long skirt, black gloves, large hat heavily draped with black net or tulle.

ELIAS TRUIST-HEATH
Young Elias is an up-and-coming heart-throb gunfighter. He can dazzle spectators with his quick draw and a spin from his guns, and when he's not showing off his slinging skills, he's demonstrating his pugilistic prowess. He's known as the best brawler west of the Mississippi and comes out of every fight with nary a scratch. Orphaned as a boy, Elias was raised under the firm, wise hand of Judge Waylon Payne. After a patriotic stint with the U.S. Cavalry, Elias returned home to Roadkill and to the women who adore him.
Costume Suggestion: Tight dungarees or jeans, half-unbuttoned plaid shirt showing genuine or applied chest hair, sideburns, mustache, bandanna tied at neck, gun belt, pistol, holster, boots and cowboy hat.